I had a pretty busy and social day today. I started off my day with a yoga class that focused on stretching while flowing. Throughout the class, I felt my body and soul really flowing and connecting to one another. I often have a lot of energy (sometimes the good kind, sometimes the bad kind) to be released–especially during this particular time in my life. Yoga has been such a helpful and productive release to heal through and process the emotions and energy I’ve been feeling. I’m a big advocate of mindfulness and mindful healing at this point in my life for myself and for my clients, especially because its effectiveness is backed by research. As a person with anxiety myself, it is often difficult for me to “manually” calm myself down with deep breathing/ relaxation…but 9 times out of 10 it helps and it works. What about the 1 time out of 10, you ask? The feeling passes. The instructor encouraged us to flow at our own pace for parts of the class. I enjoyed giving my body how and what I felt I needed at every point in time. I continue to learn about my self and my body…what I like, what I don’t like, and what is serving for me. I am looking at this time as an important opportunity for self-discovery and healing. Yoga is ALL about listening to and being in touch with the sensations of the body and the mind. A yoga class gives me a full hour to be in tune with my spiritual and physical self and needs. Us codependents often can identify and meet others’ needs before and above our own. The instructor today was gentle and kind. At the conclusion of this rich yoga class, she read a passage that resonated deeply with my current state of detaching from “him” with love. I am so excited that I found the passage she read in class online. Below is the passage, directly from Danielle LaPorte’s website: http://www.daniellelaporte.com.
The difference between being “detached” and “non-attachment.” And why it matters for getting what you want.
Many spiritual teachings instruct us to be detached from the outcomes that we’re going after. There’s merit to that, but there’s a really important, sanity-saving distinction to make. It’s the difference between detachment and non-attachment. And it’s a big difference.
Detachment is hard on your heart — and it actually creates blocks to what you want. Non-attachment, on the other hand, is actually nourishing, and much easier to put into practice.
DETACHED is rigid; a bit chilly, a tad cranky; like an uptight intellectual, cut off from his/her heart. And here’s the thing, detachment is often a cover up for fear — fear of not getting what you want. Detachment is defending itself against disappointment — which is why it’s a bit bitchy.
There’s another way of wanting that’s both rational and faith-fuelled: Non-attachment.
NON-ATTACHMENT is open and spacious. It can hold your intense longing, and it can hold possibility. Non-attachment knows that some things take time, that you have to meet the universe half way, that free will is the guiding force, and that anything is possible.
As Michael Beckwith said to me, “Detached is, ‘I’m not playing anymore. I’m taking my ball and going home.’ Whereas non-attached is ‘I’m playing full-out, but I’m not attached to an outcome.’” Ya, THAT.
I’m a student of desire. I tried detached, I tried the chilly side of Buddhism, I even tried cynicism for a hot minute. But the desire fuels me. And the non-attachment is the oxygen that fans my creative flames.
I’ve looked at wanting from so many angles. I’ve talked to hundreds and hundreds of people about what they want and how they’re going after it. There’s so much mystery left to explore, but I know this in my bones:
You’ve got to want what you want with all your heart. Not just half of your heart, not kinda, not if there’s proof, or if it’s easy, or if the funding is there, or if the timing is perfect. Nu-huh. No halves. Connected to your heart — not detached from it.
Give it all you got, and then… let it go. Let it go up to the Milky Way to be worked on. Let it come back with an answer, a gold nugget, a breakthrough, an alternative, a home.
This can be found directly at http://www.daniellelaporte.com/detached-non-attachment.