So I woke up this morning with some crappy thoughts and feelings and had some weird and upsetting dreams last night. I’m trying to sit through this all…feel my feelings, hear my thoughts, and try to take what I can from them. I feel very stuck this week. My apartment is messy and I need to do a lot of housework, my eating habits need to change, and I have to tackle some tasks and make some payments that I’ve been putting off. I have really changed since that day. I am a whole lot less active or really caring about my apartment or even about my lifestyle. This makes me sad, but I know I can turn this around. I struggled through December. I am feeling a little stronger in January, but not near where I need to be. I really feel like my overall being has been damaged by another, with only myself to pick up the pieces. I wonder if these crap thoughts and feelings are somehow adaptive, trying to tell me something, and if this sucky experience will end up being the experience of a lifetime for me. Who knows. Every woman I speak to–old and young– tells me that I will reap innumerable benefits from being by myself and from going through this difficult time. Honestly though, what better time for this to happen and for me to learn this lesson? I have a stable job, I live on my own…but 10 minutes away from my parents, I don’t have any children, and it’s the wintertime. The wintertime is a time when one physically turns their body in to keep warm and also when one looks within. During this cold season, people often stay inside and keep more to themselves than in the warmer seasons. I’m planning to go to yoga this morning and hopefully that will kickstart me into positive thoughts, feelings, and actions. Affirmation: I am feeling whatever I need to feel in order to heal.
Published by LearningtolovemeMarie
Hello, my name is Marie. I am a 20-something who wants to heal her emotional wounds and help her clients to heal as well. I am a clinical social worker (almost fully-licensed LCSW!) who deeply cares about my clients. I try to use my own life lessons, trials, and tribulations to better help myself and others. I pride myself in presenting to my clients as "more-human-than-most" and often let them know that I am a work in progress as well. I attribute my vast collection of self-help books on my book shelf not only to my clients' "presenting problems" but also my own. I have attempted to create 2 blogs recently on a different site and found myself feeling frustrated and expressing negativity and anger (this was leading up to my breakup). Now that I am in a different place, I aim to keep this blog positive, but real, as I share with you my journey toward healing my body, mind, and spirit--and finding myself somewhere along the way. I will be sharing my favorite resources, quotes, and pictures that are helping me through this difficult time. My hope is that you will find some healing from this blog and from my experiences. View all posts by LearningtolovemeMarie