It’s like I create stress for myself

So last night I made a hasty decision to join a new gym and personal training at that (talk about $$$$). I went to bed feeling uneasy about my decision and woke up the same way. I don’t know how or why I agreed to just a drastic change in my life at this point in my life? So I spent the good part of my morning freaking out that I won’t be able to cancel the personal training and gym membership and have to stick to it, though I’m uncomfortable with it. Thankfully, I learned that I have 3 days to cancel my membership and with that the personal training. My gut just doesn’t feel right about this. I am not quite ready to upgrade to such an intense gym or make really any lifestyles changes at this point in time. I want to get back into the workout routine (it’s been a month with just yoga), but that doesn’t mean I have to change so much about my life. I thought it would do me good, but it actually threw me off even more.  So here I am now picking up the jumbled pieces of anxiety that are everywhere in my brain and body, in combination with missing him and wondering how life is going for him. Ugh just UGH right now! I plan to go to yoga at 4 to clear my mind a little bit. Just a weird and kind of negative day so far…trying to take whatever positives I can get out of it…maybe the fact that I can sense my gut and listen to it and not ignore it? Just feel like crap. This crap shall pass…

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