So it has been in the past week or so that I feel I have fully gotten my “mojo” back. I’m energized, working out again, eating well, and working efficiently at my job once again. I feel that I have finally rededicated myself to my life. This could be from getting back on my workout routine and better eating, just time, new habits, the universe, or all of the above…who really knows. I literally feel–and I often tell people this–that I was dead for the whole month of December. I wasn’t efficient at my job (I’m paying the price now because of it), I ate crap, didn’t work out much, and was all around miserable and sad. I let this happen, accepted it and then I stopped tolerating it. I feel a lot different now. I mean, we all have our moments…but mine are few and far between now. Today I vowed to myself to never let a breakup affect my life as much as this one did. “Thou must carry on and be a boss ass bitch no matter how your relationship is going/ if you’re in a relationship or not.” Today, I received word about a gentle “pre-warning” from management and I freaked out inside. This is not me or a reflection of my work ethic. I’ve never had such a hard, high-demanding, high responsibility job before and I’ve never experienced such a stressful life event as an adult. I know I fucked up and admitted it to my supervisor. I’ve been doing my very best to use all of my energy in between clients to catch up on my documentation. I also dealt with some pretty intense shit today from my clients. I am working to accept this and to forgive myself lovingly. So that was my day today…And then I went to a Muay Thai class with my friend from high school. I was honestly terrible at it, but it felt good, got me pumped, and the instructor spent extra time with me to teach my techniques. I think I’ll at least do a new student special there…I also signed up for a free beginner brazilian renzo-gracie jiu jitsu class on Monday (lol why not?). My pen pal and fellow blogger Bjjselflove inspired me from across the US to say yes to this class. I may cancel it and make sure I’m trying this out for me and not him. JJ is his martial art of choice. I then went to the gym after the class to run, because I was pretty pumped from the class. The soreness is setting in as I munch on a Trader Joe’s baby pizza and some baby carrots (I guess there is a theme to my meal). I felt kind of funny at this Muay Thai class, but everyone feels that way when they try someting new. Who knows, it could be my favorite thing! I’m trying to stay open-minded, discover more interests and hobbies, have fun, and try to get myself in great shape. Now it’s time for me to turn off the devices, read, and drift into relaxation and sleep. Goodnight, everyone!
Published by LearningtolovemeMarie
Hello, my name is Marie. I am a 20-something who wants to heal her emotional wounds and help her clients to heal as well. I am a clinical social worker (almost fully-licensed LCSW!) who deeply cares about my clients. I try to use my own life lessons, trials, and tribulations to better help myself and others. I pride myself in presenting to my clients as "more-human-than-most" and often let them know that I am a work in progress as well. I attribute my vast collection of self-help books on my book shelf not only to my clients' "presenting problems" but also my own. I have attempted to create 2 blogs recently on a different site and found myself feeling frustrated and expressing negativity and anger (this was leading up to my breakup). Now that I am in a different place, I aim to keep this blog positive, but real, as I share with you my journey toward healing my body, mind, and spirit--and finding myself somewhere along the way. I will be sharing my favorite resources, quotes, and pictures that are helping me through this difficult time. My hope is that you will find some healing from this blog and from my experiences. View all posts by LearningtolovemeMarie