2 steps forward, 1 step back

Hi, everyone. I know it’s been a day or two since I last wrote. I’m going to keep this short and sweet because I am at work. I was doing well and took some steps forward for some time, and then I took a step backward.  I also realized that I could be using social media to promote my codependent behavior…to be validated and heard by others and to also look a certain way to him. I know that he reads this and wants to follow my life and journey on social media. The thought of keeping a connection to him in anyway gives me relief, but it is unhealthy and not truly relieving.  I need to give validation and love to myself.  I feel like this should be a more private journey and perhaps not something so publicly displayed. I know he can see this blog too. I appreciate him admiring my positive characteristics and will to succeed. I just have to appreciate them in myself more.  I am happy to discuss successes and new news on here, but I want to scale it back and experience this precious time by myself. Thank you all for the love and support. It means a lot. My goal is to scale the social media back and to do the private journaling/reading/ soul searching more…for me, for nobody’s approval, acceptance, and validation other than my own.

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