Hey, guys

Hey, everyone. I hope you all are well. I am doing OK. Not better and not worse. I had a long and honest conversation with my sister last night, which really was enlightening to me. She asked me about me, about him, about the relationship, and about the break-up. She also offered me some constructive criticism as well. I received this conversation with anger and resistance at first, until she sensed it and asked me to talk about it. As the conversation continued, I felt more and more comfortable. I don’t like bringing my anxiety and stressors to the forefront, but I realize that that is something I have to do to heal. I woke up this morning feeling achy and under the weather. I napped, felt lonely, and went on with my tasks. I only ever nap when I’m feeling sick. I braved my emotions, went on Facebook, literally almost threw up, and made some decisions tonight…though, hard. I decided to delete my Facebook for good and to delete all of the pictures of us and pictures that reminded me of us from my Instagram. I cried, felt a lot of things…anxiety, depression, goosebumps, sweating, chills, nausea, racing thoughts. I also decided to not pursue MMA at this time. I need to save money, and is this even ME? I would like to take some boxing, cardio, and HIIT classes at the Y and see where I can go from there. I don’t want to give up the Y and yoga, 2 places where I feel comfortable, healthy, and productive. It kind of sucks to be me at this present moment, but I know this isn’t the end.

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