Breakup aside, this was the worst week of my life

Good Lord…I did not see the happenings of this workweek coming at all. I did not have a realistic idea of how bad things were at work, but I soon found out. I will keep the details to myself, but yesterday was the second to worst day of my life…the first being when I got left by the man who I thought loved me forever. I’m still broken and shaken by that but this current event takes precedence. Anyway, yesterday was quite terrible and the worse part is that it was all my fault. Yesterday, I wanted to lay down and give up. I was embarassed, wanted to change my career (him and his family would like me and respect me better that way anyway). I flew off the handle emotionally. Maybe I don’t know how to be a person. Maybe I’m stupid, heartless.  All this negative self-talk echoed through my mind. There have never been complaints about my work or performance prior to December 2017. I let myself go…I let this wreck my life and my being. Guess what? Fuck you and your life. I need to take back mine. I feel less shitty today and actually began taking steps to remedy my mistakes. In a situation like this, I would reach out to him. This situation was so bad that I wanted to. I don’t have this person anymore. I didn’t even tell my friends what happened or my family in detail. So please don’t ask me. I’m still not feeling great about me. I don’t know how I turned cold and uncaring. I don’t want to be like that. My boss suggested I take a vacation every quarter. I’m off to an exercise class now that I honestly don’t want to go to.

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