Good Lord…I did not see the happenings of this workweek coming at all. I did not have a realistic idea of how bad things were at work, but I soon found out. I will keep the details to myself, but yesterday was the second to worst day of my life…the first being when I got left by the man who I thought loved me forever. I’m still broken and shaken by that but this current event takes precedence. Anyway, yesterday was quite terrible and the worse part is that it was all my fault. Yesterday, I wanted to lay down and give up. I was embarassed, wanted to change my career (him and his family would like me and respect me better that way anyway). I flew off the handle emotionally. Maybe I don’t know how to be a person. Maybe I’m stupid, heartless. All this negative self-talk echoed through my mind. There have never been complaints about my work or performance prior to December 2017. I let myself go…I let this wreck my life and my being. Guess what? Fuck you and your life. I need to take back mine. I feel less shitty today and actually began taking steps to remedy my mistakes. In a situation like this, I would reach out to him. This situation was so bad that I wanted to. I don’t have this person anymore. I didn’t even tell my friends what happened or my family in detail. So please don’t ask me. I’m still not feeling great about me. I don’t know how I turned cold and uncaring. I don’t want to be like that. My boss suggested I take a vacation every quarter. I’m off to an exercise class now that I honestly don’t want to go to.
Published by LearningtolovemeMarie
Hello, my name is Marie. I am a 20-something who wants to heal her emotional wounds and help her clients to heal as well. I am a clinical social worker (almost fully-licensed LCSW!) who deeply cares about my clients. I try to use my own life lessons, trials, and tribulations to better help myself and others. I pride myself in presenting to my clients as "more-human-than-most" and often let them know that I am a work in progress as well. I attribute my vast collection of self-help books on my book shelf not only to my clients' "presenting problems" but also my own. I have attempted to create 2 blogs recently on a different site and found myself feeling frustrated and expressing negativity and anger (this was leading up to my breakup). Now that I am in a different place, I aim to keep this blog positive, but real, as I share with you my journey toward healing my body, mind, and spirit--and finding myself somewhere along the way. I will be sharing my favorite resources, quotes, and pictures that are helping me through this difficult time. My hope is that you will find some healing from this blog and from my experiences. View all posts by LearningtolovemeMarie