Hey, guys. Happy belated St. Patrick’s Day and Happy Sunday! I am very much looking forward to taking this day to rest and restore. My body has been fighting something these past few weeks…nothing definitive, but definitely something. So I’ve been taking it a little easier than usual. I got back on my exercise routine yesterday, but was not feeling it 100% because I’m not feeling 100%. I’m learning to listen to my body and pay attention to its sensations and its signs.
This week I felt totally bombarded at work and totally distracted at home. Being distracted is both a blessing and a curse. Because when you become no longer distracted and have time to think, life can hit you like a ton of bricks. I actually prefer to take time to let life hit me with the proverbial “ton of bricks” sometimes, so that I have a realistic and honest idea about what’s going on my life and in my brain.
I have a nice friendship going with a man who I believe truly respects me and admires me for who I am (other than my dad and brother of course!). He is older and it is purely platonic (MY DECISION…not ready for that ish ANYTIME SOON). It’s teaching me wonderful things about boundaries, myself, and what I need to work on. Through and through, I miss and want my ex. This is natural and expected. I let myself feel it and I don’t act upon it. I talk to this friend about him too. This friend thinks my ex is crazy for passing me up. The fact that I don’t see it yet is a glaring fact that I am not ready to date yet. Other people’s opinions are starting to mean less and less to me, as I have to navigate this life and live it in my body, mind, and soul. I am focusing on my healing journey and nurturing relationships that build me up. My parents and friends have told me that I seem a lot happier and look a lot better. I cry a lot less too (it’s been about 1 month without tears, a record for me!). I am starting to feel enough. I know my ex and I could have worked things out had we not let our families totally overpower our feelings towards one another, but whatever… what can you do. It was not my choice to end my relationship. But it is my choice to live my best life despite this.
One little piece of advice before I conclude this post is…KEEP YOUR SOCIAL SUPPORT SYSTEM THROUGH THICK AND THIN, GOOD TIMES AND BAD. I actually have no idea what I’d do if I didn’t have my long-term friends and family at this time in my life. They mean the absolute world to me and always raise me up (well maybe not all the time with family lol). Keep those amazing people around if you know what’s good for you…when you have a boyfriend and when you don’t. Boy am I glad I did! I hope you all have a great Sunday and that you feel recharged for the upcoming week!
P.S. I bought the Five Minute Journal, have been writing every day in the morning and before bed and it has been transformational so far! I’m only about 7 days in, but I highly recommend. Maybe I’ll talk more about it on another blog post! 🙂