Feels like I’m just waking up at 6 PM…

So I started off my day-off today with a cavity filling…my first cavity in 10 years! And it was on one of my wisdom teeth…way back there! I hope I don’t have to get them pulled one day, but whatever needs to be done for my health, I am OK with. I am thankful to be able to afford healthcare and resources for my overall wellbeing. I went to bed too late last night and slugged around and slept for a lot of the day, after my appointment and after I went to lunch with my stepmom. I wish I had taken better care of myself this week and set better boundaries with people or I wouldn’t be feeling this tired or this off-centered. Today I feel like I lack direction and feel emotionally and physically exhausted. I want to awaken my soul and my spirit. I want to be truly alone again and not be distracted. I do believe that this is true peace to me. Once you lose it, it’s hard to get it back. I feel like I finally am waking up for the first time today after a long nap, some anxiety and tiredness. I am thirsting for direction at this point in time. I want to carry out my dharma…I want to find out what my dharma is. I want to surrender distractions- good and bad…I want to just be. I want to feel how I need to truly feel to heal. I decided that I’m going to go to a yoga class. I do hope this will help me get back on track. I’m just feeling a bit spiritually blah and lacking direction. Let’s see what magic this yoga class can bring! Then I’m stopping over my friend’s house to feed and hang out with her cat for a little. I’m actually looking forward to that, as animals are so amazingly spiritual creatures. Thanks for reading! I allow myself to fall off of the normal course and routine and encourage myself to get  back on track. It’s so hard to do this non judgmentally, but I have to try! Affirmation: I am perfectly imperfect and am finding my way to true spiritual, emotional, and physical growth.

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